Life and Uncertainty, Just the Way it is

Lots of uncertainty in my life right now.  Few people are getting the boot at work.  Lay-offs are shitty.  I don't think I'm going to get laid off since I'm one of the cheaper workers (fairly new, etc) and I have a project but that isn't exactly a guarantee.  Plus this job isn't exactly where I want to be so I'm looking around.  Trying to move somewhere else that will hopefully be cool and a job that I love.  Who knows.  I loved this job for the first 7 months of work, then I got bounced around to different projects, all of which were kind of mind numbing, so now I'm doing things that I feel are very boring.  Sucks.  And now that I'm looking around for work I'm remembering how time consuming and a bit difficult job hunting can be.

On a personal level, I'm stuck between creative projects.  Not unusual for me, I bounce around a lot with that sort of thing, its just my personality.  I wish I could be more focused, maybe I just have to make an active effort but that seems like it might take the fun out of things.  I feel like I need to have better follow through though.  Like I said, uncertainty, but at least I have control over these personal projects and creations.  I'd like to eventually finish one so I can show off a finished product to people.

OUCH! My finger! That's gonna leave a mark.

I knew it.  What did I write last time?  I felt like my window of opportunity was sliding shut.  I was totally right.  I wrote down my prediction just in time for that window to slam down on my finger.  Not a good feeling, but it's certainly better than losing a hand.  I was fairly prepared for this to happen given the circumstances.  We don't live anywhere near each other and she is obviously a relationship person.  It was only a matter of time before she ended up in another one.  "Hey, that's not fair, maybe he's the right own for her." Yeah, great, I honestly hope she is happy.  She's a great person and deserves happiness but the fact of the matter is, if someone really wants to be in a relationship they're going to make it happen.  This is true for 99.9$ of people.  I've said before most people aren't like me in the sense that I'm not going to get into a relationship just because I feel like I want a significant other.  We'll see what happen, I haven't asked any questions and honestly I'm a bit curious but I don't think I really want to know.  What is that going to do for me?  If I had to bet I'd bet this is just a rebound relationship.  It will be fully charged and short lived.  Makes sense for the time frame after her previous long term commitment and, yes, it may just be wishful thinking since I'd still like to go visit and it would be way better if she wasn't in a relationship when I do.  So now the question is when do I go to for the visit?

I Got a Fever!

Man, I feel a bit ridiculous right now.  I've got it pretty bad.  This young lady is on my mind more often than I'd like to admit and we don't even live in the same place.  I'm not sure if it'd be harder or easier if we did live close together.  All I know is I'd like to have a chance with this one if I could.  Not sure where or what that would lead to but I feel like the window of opportunity will be sliding shut before I get that chance.

On a totally unrelated note: Finally purchased the Lupe Fiasco - Lasers album.  Haven't had a chance to listen to it but I'm pretty excited.  I know what I'll be jammin in my vehicle tomorrow.  I will be posting about that after and either saying that it's great or how much I hate it.  Hopefully more of the former.