A few things I've heard recently that I thought were worthwhile, funny or both:
Sometimes, not always but sometimes, it helps to know what you're doing.
The we people could get with a degree in the field C students so we often looked elsewhere. We found hiring someone who excelled at something, anything, and training them was better than hiring someone who spent 4 years proving they just didn't get it.
Conversation I heard at a bar:
"Yeah, she's really hot and actually really nice, but she is CRAZY!"
"If I had tits like that it'd drive me crazy too."
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