THE NIGHT OUT
When I go out and party with friends, especially friends I haven't seen in a while, there are usually parts of the night which have been omitted from my memory. Sometimes by choice but usually due to alcohol consumption. This latest weekend was no exception. I went out Thursday, started the night off with my brother and a few of his friends. After several hours of beer, shots and shuffleboard, it was close to midnight and my friends started showing up. So of course I had to celebrate the arrival with more shots causing my brother's friend to puke underneath a high top table we were standing at in the corner. Someone nobody noticed and we still served. I left my brother's company and proceeded to a gentleman's establishment where a friend was tending bar. I asked for shots of anything (bad decision) so he made me star f*!%ers. But instead of vodka, he made them with 151 . . . I don't remember anything after that. I don't even remember looking at the girls, probably because my vision was too blurred to see as far as the stage through all the smoke, black light and shattered dreams. Apparently I demanded another round of the same shot, which we took, and then my friend bought a round of patron. This all occurred in a matter of 45 minutes. Then it was closing time and we hit up a late night establishment for some food and I promptly passed out on my friend's couch when we arrived at his place.
PICKING UP THE PIECES
I spent the next morning eating ibuprofen and digging through my pockets for clues. Much to my dismay, I found out I spent over $300 that night. Oh well, I had an awesome time. But then I found $100 in my breast pocket, so that eased my pain a bit. I also made a cursory look through my phone. No crazy outgoing texts, nice. What's this? A phone number from some girl? A few mental images flash through my head, none of them with a face. All I remember is a skirt and some really nice legs. After questioning my friends I found out I somehow hit on a pretty girl AND got her phone number. In words of my friend, "You were so wasted, I was going to step in but then, all of a sudden, you got really focused. You were speaking coherently and everything for a couple minutes." This is where the sleuthing really picks up and a whole lot of other nights make sense. Whenever I have one of these Long Lost Friend Reunion Party Nights I fairly consistently wake up with missing memories and phone numbers or pictures of me and some girl(s).
THE QUESTIONS
1) How do I continue to get served when I'm so drunk?
I consistently get asked this question by myself and my friends. I wake up vaguely remembering a cab ride home and thinking I got ripped off by a cabbie because I'm missing $40 more than the cab ride should've cost. Only after looking through a crumpled receipt or checking my credit card statement do I realize I actually there was a third bar I attended of which I have no recollection.
2) How do I possibly talk to these girls and get their numbers?
It's not that I'm complaining too much except I'd like to remember SOME details about these girls. That way I can actually call them and ask them to come hang out at a bar and actually remember something we talked about. I'm sure I asked what they did for a living and if they were in school and I was probably genuinely interested. The shit part, and this has happened, is if I invite them or run into them later, I tend to ask the same questions. I can't help it, those are my go to questions when starting a conversation and getting to know someone.
3) How do you manage to get a cab and give them directions to take you home?
THE ANSWERS
This was a landmark situation. Usually, when I drink to blackout status, my friends are on the same level because we spend the whole night together. This time, I spent half the night with one group and then moved on to hanging out with another group who were sober halfway through the night. Hence, I actually had a witness of many of the shenanigans.
1, 2 & 3) Apparently, the answer to all three questions is related with slight variations. While drunk, I maintain the ability to focus for very short periods of time to achieve important objectives. Obviously, getting drinks is extremely important. There are certain rules I generally follow even when I'm sober and they seem to carry over. Know what you want when the bartender gets to you, don't act like a jackass when at the bar to order a drink, don't say too much to the bartender especially if they are super busy or seem to be in a bad mood, act as sober as possible if possible, don't rush the bartender they will get to you when they can. Speaking to girls is also very important for any guy. I'm a witty guy and many girls find this charming especially when they've had a couple drinks. I'm also a lot more likely to buy girls drinks when I've been drinking. This all seems to work in my favor. Last, but not least, I really like making it to my own house if I can. A cab is always worth it as a DUI is a brutal and unrelenting burden. NO THANK YOU. I pour myself into a cab, often fearlessly pre-negotiating the price, and proceed to give directions. My drunk self is very good with directions, I am often the one who remembers where we parked when the DD forgets. I'm that good. I am friendly so I engage in small talk with the cab driver because it's fun and I need to stay awake. I make it home, tip the cabbie, get into my place and usually wake up with most of my clothes still on.
THE DREAM
One day, a government agent with show up on my doorstep in an attempt to recruit me because I have "a very special set of skills." To which I will reply, "I've been waiting my whole life for this." My drinking abilities + ability to focus on important tasks + morning after sleuthing skills will one day serve our country. When that day comes, I will be ready. Until then, I will continue the rigorous training because I'm a patriot. You're welcome America.
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Another Week, Another Wedding
No, I am not a wedding crasher. I actually know all the people in these weddings and this is the third wedding I have been a groomsman within the last calender year. Actually, the first wedding I was in happened to be Memorial Day weekend last year in the same city with the reception taking place in the same venue. It seems I have come full circle in this wedding craziness. I need a break though.
PLANNING
On the plus side, I had an awesome time. This was my best friend's wedding and the only wedding of which I 100% approve and 100% wanted to be present. It was also the only wedding where the wedding party had their shit together. Everything was well planned, they weren't dropping task list bombs on me the night before the wedding which happened to me at one of the weddings. There was no confusion as to where we needed to be or when we needed to be there. The reception hall was less than half a mile from the church.The bridesmaid dresses were pretty and I didn't have to wear an ugly tuxedo, we wore black suits with skinny ties, tie bars and a pocket square which were all picked out and purchased by the groom. The black suit was an awesome choice because I already owned one. I don't have a problem with tuxedos except the weddings in which I wore a tux they were non-traditional so the only option was renting. I would have loved to just buy a tuxedo and own it instead of renting one for $200.
OPEN BAR
OPEN BAR DUDE!!! This is also the only wedding I went to which was full service open bar with four kegs, one of which was Shiner Bock. Well done. There were also free cigars which were pretty good as well. The food was good and there were hors d'oeuvres being served when the guests first arrived so that was extremely nice. Every other wedding I went to had quite a long wait between arrival and food with no appetizers in between. Poor planning I say. One negative mark on the catering company, I specifically asked for what time last call was and I was told 11:45pm. At 11:30pm, I and my friends made our way to the bar to slam a few beers and shots in the last fifteen minutes of serving. Much to our dismay, we were informed that cutoff policy for the hall was 11:30pm so we couldn't get anything. I was so fuckin pissed. No last call announcement AND the last call time I was quoted was incorrect. Bullshit. Related Note: Why is the hottest girl at the wedding always some girl working for the catering company? She's also usually the dumbest, ask someone else if you have any important questions like "What time is last call?"
MUSIC
Mexican wedding so there were mariachis and a lot of spanish music. Great fun dancing and a few really fun traditions. Plus, everyone at a Mexican wedding drinks so that tends to mean a good time. The mariachis left and then there was a band who played a variety of music but with the massive amount of Mexicans attending, the merengue, cumbia and various other spanish music was the type that got people out of their seats and on the dance floor.
WRAP UP
The end of the reception was the only crappy part. All the bridesmaids, except for one, bailed about an hour before the reception was over as did most of the groomsmen. I hung around like a good friend because there is not usually a plan for getting all the presents and whatever else out of the reception hall. The few of us who were left helped load up the vehicles and spent an hour while the decision makers figured out the deal. It took way longer than it should. After that was sorted, we finally got to leave and go to a bar with only thirty minutes left to drink by the time we got there.
Overall this was by far the BEST wedding I've ever been to or been a part of, HANDS DOWN. Everything was better executed and the people were a lot more fun. I also got to see a lot more friends I haven't seen in quite a while so it was great. Best wishes to my friends on their marriage.
PS: It never fails, every wedding I go to I get asked "When are you getting married?" It's a bit annoying since most of the people who ask are really serious. Amongst friends we always joke about it but the adults, usually aunts, uncles and parents, are always very serious and continually introducing you to their other family members in hopes of marrying off some of the other females in the family. Just think this is odd, that's all.
PLANNING
On the plus side, I had an awesome time. This was my best friend's wedding and the only wedding of which I 100% approve and 100% wanted to be present. It was also the only wedding where the wedding party had their shit together. Everything was well planned, they weren't dropping task list bombs on me the night before the wedding which happened to me at one of the weddings. There was no confusion as to where we needed to be or when we needed to be there. The reception hall was less than half a mile from the church.The bridesmaid dresses were pretty and I didn't have to wear an ugly tuxedo, we wore black suits with skinny ties, tie bars and a pocket square which were all picked out and purchased by the groom. The black suit was an awesome choice because I already owned one. I don't have a problem with tuxedos except the weddings in which I wore a tux they were non-traditional so the only option was renting. I would have loved to just buy a tuxedo and own it instead of renting one for $200.
OPEN BAR
OPEN BAR DUDE!!! This is also the only wedding I went to which was full service open bar with four kegs, one of which was Shiner Bock. Well done. There were also free cigars which were pretty good as well. The food was good and there were hors d'oeuvres being served when the guests first arrived so that was extremely nice. Every other wedding I went to had quite a long wait between arrival and food with no appetizers in between. Poor planning I say. One negative mark on the catering company, I specifically asked for what time last call was and I was told 11:45pm. At 11:30pm, I and my friends made our way to the bar to slam a few beers and shots in the last fifteen minutes of serving. Much to our dismay, we were informed that cutoff policy for the hall was 11:30pm so we couldn't get anything. I was so fuckin pissed. No last call announcement AND the last call time I was quoted was incorrect. Bullshit. Related Note: Why is the hottest girl at the wedding always some girl working for the catering company? She's also usually the dumbest, ask someone else if you have any important questions like "What time is last call?"
MUSIC
Mexican wedding so there were mariachis and a lot of spanish music. Great fun dancing and a few really fun traditions. Plus, everyone at a Mexican wedding drinks so that tends to mean a good time. The mariachis left and then there was a band who played a variety of music but with the massive amount of Mexicans attending, the merengue, cumbia and various other spanish music was the type that got people out of their seats and on the dance floor.
WRAP UP
The end of the reception was the only crappy part. All the bridesmaids, except for one, bailed about an hour before the reception was over as did most of the groomsmen. I hung around like a good friend because there is not usually a plan for getting all the presents and whatever else out of the reception hall. The few of us who were left helped load up the vehicles and spent an hour while the decision makers figured out the deal. It took way longer than it should. After that was sorted, we finally got to leave and go to a bar with only thirty minutes left to drink by the time we got there.
Overall this was by far the BEST wedding I've ever been to or been a part of, HANDS DOWN. Everything was better executed and the people were a lot more fun. I also got to see a lot more friends I haven't seen in quite a while so it was great. Best wishes to my friends on their marriage.
PS: It never fails, every wedding I go to I get asked "When are you getting married?" It's a bit annoying since most of the people who ask are really serious. Amongst friends we always joke about it but the adults, usually aunts, uncles and parents, are always very serious and continually introducing you to their other family members in hopes of marrying off some of the other females in the family. Just think this is odd, that's all.
Monday, March 28, 2011
News Flash: Weddings Aren't So Bad
Well that wedding certainly went better than I thought. It was pretty fun. Not as fun as a regular night out with the friends but a good time none the less. It wasn't quite traditional, which made it a little more relaxed, but I always feel like I'm under the microscope at weddings. All formal events for that matter. It's never my even though, so I don't want to screw it up. Hopefully my friend will only be getting married once and her and her husband deserve to have their day. I got to see a bunch of people I haven't seen in quite a while, so that was cool. I also realized something, a number of the people at the wedding who I "knew" and talked to, I realized I didn't really know that well. Basically we went to a lot of the same parties. hahaha. I just thought that was funny. They are fun people, so that helped. A few closer friends were there and that was also nice. Plus I was in my hometown so I had a bit of time to see some family and party with other friends around town. Always a good time. I guess weddings aren't THAT bad, but still not my preferred thing to do. On the big plus side, I look awesome in a suit.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Monday Mashup
Got a few wins at work today. Feel a little less lost on the current project but I'm not sure that's saying much. Hopefully tomorrow will clear up a few more things and soon I will know a little about what I'm doing instead of absolutely nothing. Set up an event for a group of friends. Just to hang out and enjoy a few brews. Should be a good time.
Gave a friend a ring. Just wanted to hear a friendly voice today. I have a very difficult time here sometimes. There's just so much more I want out of life than what I currently have, it's hard to describe, but sometimes I get a little down. It was just nice to talk to my friend, see what she was up to, joke around a bit. She is one of the nicest people I've ever met so she always puts me in a good mood. During our conversation she mentioned her admiration for not only the number of friends I had but the number of quality friends I sitll keep in touch with throughout time. I guess it is pretty true. Perhaps it's for selfish reasons, maybe I need that in my life, I don't know. Can't be a bad thing though. Even with the friends I have I still feel there are too few good and great friends in this world. More people should have the quality of friends I do.
Found myself wishing I had the means to travel somewhere new once again. Perhaps that's the kind of job I should get, although I don't know what jobs let you travel to cool new places constantly. Anybody know the answer to that?
Time to hit the hay. Didn't get a chance to work on a story I wrote the pretext for the other day. I really like where the story is going, I'd like to elaborate on it but just didn't have time today. I should tomorrow, coming straight home after work so I'll spend some time on that. Time to see what the sandman brings tonight.
Gave a friend a ring. Just wanted to hear a friendly voice today. I have a very difficult time here sometimes. There's just so much more I want out of life than what I currently have, it's hard to describe, but sometimes I get a little down. It was just nice to talk to my friend, see what she was up to, joke around a bit. She is one of the nicest people I've ever met so she always puts me in a good mood. During our conversation she mentioned her admiration for not only the number of friends I had but the number of quality friends I sitll keep in touch with throughout time. I guess it is pretty true. Perhaps it's for selfish reasons, maybe I need that in my life, I don't know. Can't be a bad thing though. Even with the friends I have I still feel there are too few good and great friends in this world. More people should have the quality of friends I do.
Found myself wishing I had the means to travel somewhere new once again. Perhaps that's the kind of job I should get, although I don't know what jobs let you travel to cool new places constantly. Anybody know the answer to that?
Time to hit the hay. Didn't get a chance to work on a story I wrote the pretext for the other day. I really like where the story is going, I'd like to elaborate on it but just didn't have time today. I should tomorrow, coming straight home after work so I'll spend some time on that. Time to see what the sandman brings tonight.
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